[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2.1s] And then she says to him, she says,
[3.8s] Now!
[4.6s] How I picture this scene kind of playing out
[7.5s] is like Vorunax climbs in and shuts the door behind him.
[12.4s] And there's just rocks back and forth
[15.3s] until there's just like a splat across all the windows.
[20.2s] Thea and Grancis are just watching from the outside.
[23.0s] Yeah.
[23.6s] Just being like, I wouldn't want to be that thing.
[25.7s] No.
[26.9s] Yeah, they should have built the doors a little bit bigger.
[29.8s] Maybe it could have gotten out.
[31.0s] God, do you think?
[31.9s] Oh, it's going to be everywhere.
[33.5s] Yeah, no, it's gotten into everything.
[35.6s] Like everybody's going to have to have.
[38.3s] That's going to need some detailing.
[39.9s] They probably don't have baths down here.
[42.2s] This is not good.
[43.0s] Do you think there's like a squeegee or something?
[44.7s] Can't even see out those windows anymore.
[46.5s] We see everybody go up to the helm,
[50.5s] the cockpit of this machine and look around.
[53.8s] Does anybody know how to start it?
[55.8s] I search a nearby body of one of the redcaps.
[61.7s] See if I can find a coin.
[63.6s] And I look under like the visor
[66.6s] like they always do in movies.
[69.1s] And Thea hops out and grabs the immovable rod.
[74.2s] Good call.
[75.1s] Give it a shot.
[76.2s] I flip Flint a coin.
[77.4s] Coins flipped.
[79.2s] Flint slides it in and the engine roars to life
[82.6s] as it screams out across the landscape.
[85.6s] It begins to roll towards the watchtowers at the River Styx.
[94.8s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[96.4s] I'm your dungeon master Russ More.
[98.2s] He, him also with me today is Amy More.
[101.5s] Yeah, she, her.
[102.8s] And today I will be playing Thea Amastasia.
[106.6s] She, her and Gile Nighthunter Oglokanu.
[110.6s] She, they.
[111.4s] And Tom Laird.
[112.6s] Yeah, that's me.
[113.6s] He, him and I am playing Flint Firebeard
[115.7s] who also goes with he, him.
[117.6s] And Carla Max dead.
[118.7s] She, her playing Lipsinki Pipdiggins.
[121.9s] Also she, her.
[123.1s] Kyle Claset.
[124.8s] Hey everyone.
[125.7s] He, him and I'm going to be playing Voronox.
[128.0s] Also he, him.
[129.2s] And because everything he says turns to gold
[131.6s] it's Cicero Holmes.
[133.4s] He, him.
[135.0s] And I will be playing Dents.
[137.9s] And he, him for me too.
[141.0s] So happy to have Dents back.
[142.7s] And Dents is here because of,
[146.2s] primarily because of the live show
[148.1s] and just an off comment in a post question
[151.3s] that was thrown to Cicero, not thrown to Dents.
[154.3s] It was thrown to Cicero about Dents.
[157.0s] And now we have you here and we are so happy for it.
[160.6s] Thank you for being here everybody.
[162.4s] Well, you know, the universe, the universe calls.
[165.4s] All I can do is answer.
[166.9s] That's right.
[167.8s] And we give the fans what they want
[169.7s] because they were all very excited about that.
[171.7s] About that lore that we're gonna create right now
[174.2s] that we previously thought about.
[177.0s] I have the high ground.
[178.1s] That's right.
[182.0s] You can hear that live show that we just did
[184.5s] when we hit a hundred patrons
[186.2s] that included both Kyle and Cicero.
[188.6s] And it was a blast at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[192.0s] When you become a patron, you get that.
[194.7s] But you also get an episode dedicated to you.
[196.9s] Like today's patron, Chris Harrison.
[200.0s] Thanks Chris.
[201.0s] Thanks Chris.
[202.0s] Thank you so much.
[203.5s] Dang, you're so awesome.
[205.8s] Join us today at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[208.9s] And now fuck it, let's play.
[213.4s] We hear the sounds of a crunching machine
[218.4s] rolling up and over the hills
[220.2s] and sounds of screaming and torture off in the distance.
[224.8s] Hot wind blows across the front of this infernal war machine
[232.6s] that grinds to a halt at the edge of
[237.0s] what was a crudely shaped road of skulls.
[241.4s] As our heroes step out,
[244.3s] they look out and over a dock scene.
[248.4s] There are people lined up and boats ferrying to and from.
[254.7s] In the background is down at the boardwalk playing.
[258.3s] Yes.
[258.7s] Because I think it should be.
[260.2s] But like a weird like warped record.
[262.9s] Mm hmm.
[263.7s] Like a spooky version.
[265.4s] Otis Redding is, he's there,
[268.6s] but the sound is just coming out of his open mouth.
[272.8s] Terrifying.
[273.4s] As if he is the speaker.
[275.5s] Yeah.
[276.1s] Oh, gross.
[277.8s] Because you're in hell.
[279.9s] You know, I never got around here that much.
[282.2s] I actually, this is pretty nice.
[284.2s] Well, this reminds me, are you,
[286.5s] this time thing is so confusing,
[287.9s] but are you in that apartment
[290.3s] where you have that huge sculpture
[292.6s] made out of all the skulls?
[293.9s] Because it's quite reminiscent of this road
[296.5s] and it was very cool.
[298.6s] It was like, you guys,
[299.7s] it was like this sort of art installation
[302.6s] and it was huge and you could flip that switch,
[304.8s] remember, and kind of blood would pour out of their eyes.
[307.7s] It was really just beautiful.
[310.5s] Where did you get skulls?
[312.9s] Just all over the place.
[314.5s] They're just, they're around
[317.0s] when you work for Orcus.
[318.8s] Now, did you hire like an interior designer for this?
[322.1s] I mean, they are made of skulls,
[323.4s] so interior designer is a very apt way to put it.
[327.2s] Okay.
[328.1s] I get it.
[330.1s] Oh, this is a creepy conversation.
[332.3s] But yes, I just had that feature finished.
[334.2s] Just, yeah, sorry.
[335.8s] Did you put my skull in the keystone spot
[339.7s] like you said you were going to?
[341.5s] Yes, did you choose skull of people you knew?
[344.6s] Oh, of course.
[345.4s] The entire-
[346.3s] I forgot you were past Vorunax.
[348.4s] The entire keystone is just you.
[351.6s] Wow.
[352.8s] Well, that's a real honor.
[355.0s] I think you're giving them a little-
[356.6s] That's pretty special.
[358.4s] You know, so much time-
[359.0s] Don't let that go to your head.
[360.2s] So much time being tortured down in the abyss
[362.6s] and you get-
[363.4s] Hold your head high.
[364.2s] You get that kind of treatment after you go?
[367.9s] Oh, yeah.
[368.9s] You can't get that at the Marriott?
[370.8s] Yeah.
[371.4s] Good benefits package.
[372.5s] Good severance package.
[373.7s] Not a sponsor.
[377.0s] I mean, I would hope not if you can't even get that at the-
[380.2s] No, right?
[381.1s] If someone isn't going to take my skull from my body
[383.8s] and put it in some sort of art installment after I leave,
[386.5s] then I don't even want to stay there.
[388.9s] I mean, it sounds like y'all are coming around to Orcus
[391.4s] and I just-
[394.2s] I mean-
[395.0s] No, no, no, no, no.
[395.9s] Okay, all right.
[397.0s] Don't-
[397.5s] Yeah, we're just-
[398.7s] We're making small talk.
[399.6s] Anyway, I was under the impression there was
[403.5s] one ferryman across the River Styx.
[406.9s] Is that just-
[407.8s] Is that just like make-believe?
[409.8s] I thought that was common knowledge?
[411.2s] That is also what I had heard, but it looks like-
[413.4s] I mean, look at-
[414.4s] There's so-
[415.9s] There's so many.
[416.7s] How do we even pick one?
[418.2s] There's a whole situation down here.
[420.6s] You begin to move up and towards the dock
[423.9s] and the line's going pretty quick
[425.6s] and by the time you get up to the front of the line,
[429.4s] there is a tall robed figure,
[433.6s] a very gaunt and inset.
[437.6s] He's checking his clipboard
[439.6s] and sees you walk up and looks down
[443.0s] and down at the very end of the dock
[445.5s] There's this like ramshackle old sailboat
[450.5s] with tarps all across the top
[455.0s] and you see a figure, a shadowy figure
[459.0s] standing at the helm of that one
[461.3s] and he says, names, please.
[465.5s] And I just kind of turn to Vorunax and be like,
[470.8s] we did not properly plan this out.
[472.5s] Do we give him our real names?
[473.7s] Do they know our names anyway?
[475.0s] Do we give fake names?
[475.8s] What do we do here?
[477.2s] I didn't-
[478.1s] I didn't think names mattered down here.
[480.4s] So, no.
[483.6s] And I just walk past him.
[485.5s] Excuse me, sir.
[487.1s] We require a payment to be ferried.
[490.2s] Oh, payment we can do.
[491.9s] Yes, are you on-
[492.6s] Names we can't.
[493.5s] We don't-
[493.9s] We lost them.
[496.1s] Well, you've passed the test.
[497.4s] There's no names on this list.
[498.9s] I just stand here looking important.
[501.4s] So you don't even need the money?
[503.0s] Well, no, I do need the money.
[504.2s] That's the one thing I do need.
[505.4s] It just says, take money.
[507.0s] If they give you your name, well, you own their soul.
[511.8s] I always got to read the fine print.
[513.5s] It's kind of a trick.
[515.4s] Now, how much of that actually goes to the ferrymen?
[517.6s] If I just paid them directly,
[518.8s] wouldn't that cut you out and benefit them more?
[520.7s] I'm more of a contractor.
[522.6s] I make sure ferrymen-
[524.4s] It's a busy time for ferrymen.
[526.0s] We've had to bring on some new blood
[530.4s] to really just pick up the pace.
[533.0s] You saw there was a big rush.
[534.2s] There was a big rush.
[535.1s] You just got in right at the end
[536.5s] and there's only one ferry left.
[538.6s] It'll be eons before another one comes back.
[541.8s] Like literal eons?
[543.3s] I look to the rest of the group.
[545.7s] Soul coin.
[546.6s] You can pay him whatever you want.
[549.8s] Taps his skeletal finger in his hand.
[552.6s] All right, I bust out and put a soul coin.
[556.2s] It screams as you transfer it to his hand
[558.9s] and he grasps it tight
[561.1s] and there's like this, he kind of smells it,
[565.3s] puts it in his pocket, as you were.
[568.5s] Head on down to the boat.
[570.6s] That was so gross.
[572.2s] I mean, did anyone else think he was going to smell the money?
[574.7s] No, I hadn't even considered that as a possibility, but-
[578.3s] I kind of want to smell one now.
[581.5s] I don't recommend it.
[582.4s] I spend a weekend huffing souls
[584.2s] and it was a very, very bleak weekend.
[588.9s] Noted.
[590.3s] Okay.
[591.0s] You make your way down the dock
[593.6s] and to a catwalk leading up into this sailboat.
[598.5s] Hello?
[601.2s] Yeah, hello.
[602.2s] Well, where are you going?
[606.1s] You know, just playing.
[607.7s] Okay.
[608.9s] You can only go one place.
[610.3s] You're funny.
[611.0s] Sorry, could you describe Dents once again
[614.1s] as these characters see him?
[616.3s] Yeah, so Dents is, he's an Arakorka,
[623.8s] which is a great character name that I can never say.
[627.4s] A great race.
[629.1s] It's always good to not be able to pronounce a race
[632.6s] and he is, I don't know, so he's about six, five, six, six.
[639.9s] I don't know what that is in meters because I'm an American.
[642.4s] No, we do high feet inches.
[644.2s] Two and a bit.
[645.1s] Two and a bit.
[646.0s] All right.
[646.7s] All right.
[647.1s] There we go.
[647.9s] So we measure things in Canada.
[649.1s] How tall are you?
[649.9s] Two and a bit.
[650.4s] Two and a bit.
[652.8s] How are you now?
[654.6s] So yeah, and he's, so you can't really see his feathers
[662.7s] because he is kind of robed,
[665.4s] but you do definitely see his face, which is,
[669.9s] you know, it's a, he's dark feathered.
[675.5s] And he's, his, his hair is kind of like, or hair.
[682.5s] So at the top of his head, they're kind of like in braids,
[687.4s] straight, straight back on his scalp.
[691.1s] And, and, and then like, I guess, tied back into a ponytail
[695.4s] as he lifts his, his hood off to reveal himself.
[699.9s] So they're almost, almost kind of knotted, knotted back there.
[704.2s] But he, yeah, he is tall.
[707.5s] There's not much that you can make out
[710.3s] in terms of facial features because of, of his race,
[714.9s] but, you know, he's dense.
[722.3s] You know, well, this is quite a bit of you.
[727.3s] Is, is that a problem?
[729.5s] Well, usually it's just one or two, but
[733.2s] I don't know, maybe it'll cost you extra.
[736.0s] Maybe?
[737.0s] There's, yeah, there's, there's no water or candy in the back.
[742.4s] Sorry about that.
[744.1s] And this is the worst Uber I've ever taken.
[747.5s] And yeah, the, the only thing I've got here is,
[752.6s] it's my mixtape.
[755.2s] Look, there's some is blue and some is red,
[759.5s] but I mixed them up.
[761.2s] And then, so like sometimes you can make purple ones.
[765.7s] Here, check this out.
[767.7s] It's my mixtape.
[769.5s] Very nice.
[771.5s] Wow, that's very, very cool.
[774.9s] We did pay the man back there, but we, we asked him,
[779.9s] we assume we also offer you some sort of rotuity or,
[784.7s] I mean, cause he's getting the majority of that, isn't he?
[787.0s] Well, yeah, he gets all of that.
[789.7s] That's just, yeah, that's, that's the entrance fee.
[793.2s] Okay.
[794.0s] But then, you know, we suggest that you,
[802.3s] you, donations are appreciated.
[804.9s] We, we have suggestions on, on how much you pay someone,
[809.1s] but, you know, it's up to you.
[812.8s] Is it like a sliding scale sort of thing?
[816.0s] Give what you can.
[817.8s] It's a gig economy.
[819.4s] I have heard that.
[821.0s] Yeah.
[821.4s] I mean, we, we both used to be evil,
[824.3s] but we're not assholes.
[826.0s] Obviously we're going to give you a good rotuity
[829.4s] because we're not monsters.
[831.2s] We're just reformed killers.
[835.1s] I mean, it has, it has been a while.
[837.1s] So what do you think the proper rotuity for a trip
[840.6s] to say Thanatos would be?
[843.5s] Oh, oh, so there is a different place you wanted to go.
[848.6s] Oh, well, well, I would say a soul coin
[857.4s] definitely get you there.
[859.5s] I think we still have some of those.
[861.0s] Will it get us there safely?
[863.5s] Oh, well, then that would,
[864.6s] that would be two or three soul coins.
[868.7s] How many soul coins do we have?
[870.7s] How many soul coins do they have?
[871.9s] I think you, I think you.
[873.2s] Like we were telling you.
[874.8s] Yeah, that's right.
[877.4s] Cicero, take your headphones off.
[878.4s] Just show me, show me the number.
[880.3s] Earmuffs, earmuffs.
[881.1s] Put your, put your hands down here
[882.8s] and give me a one, two, three, four.
[884.9s] I think, I think it's seven.
[888.3s] No, yeah, I was going to say
[891.1s] show Amy secretly, but that's okay.
[893.2s] Player knowledge, character knowledge.
[894.8s] Now dense doesn't know, only Cicero.
[898.7s] Dense knows nothing, but we've used some.
[901.6s] We did.
[902.0s] We had to use one in order to power the thing.
[906.3s] Right.
[906.8s] And then we just paid one, so.
[908.5s] And then some others.
[910.2s] Yeah.
[910.6s] Maybe.
[911.8s] Yeah, Snifdom, what did you do with them?
[913.9s] No.
[915.0s] Problem.
[915.7s] They're all used up.
[919.4s] So we have a few.
[920.3s] Let's just, let's just assume we have a few of them.
[922.2s] Perhaps we give one now
[924.6s] and one when we safely arrive.
[927.1s] I like that option.
[929.1s] Okay, well, sure.
[931.7s] All right.
[932.1s] Well, we can go then if you're, if you want to go.
[938.9s] Yeah, I think time is of the essence.
[940.5s] We should probably go now.
[942.1s] All right.
[942.4s] Well, then let's get started.
[945.9s] Dense shoves off and he starts to row.
[952.4s] So do you guys come around here, you know, often?
[958.8s] Uh, first time for me.
[962.3s] Yeah, first time over here.
[964.4s] Um, how do you, how does one become a ferryman?
[968.6s] Well, uh, I think, like I said, oh, I'm sorry.
[971.9s] Dense is my name.
[973.5s] I am your ferryman tonight.
[975.2s] And, uh, if you look off to your right, you'll see nothing.
[978.8s] And, uh, if you look off to your left, you'll see more nothing.
[983.7s] Ooh, that nothing's fun.
[985.5s] Yes, you may, um, enjoy some of the screams of the damned.
[992.1s] And, uh, how did I, how did I get started?
[995.1s] Um, well, uh, as, as, as, as I said, uh, it's a gig economy.
[1002.9s] And, uh, you know, the one thing that I know, I don't know a lot about a lot of things.
[1008.8s] The one thing I know is that, uh, in order to eat,
[1013.7s] you need to be fed.
[1015.0s] And in order to be fed, you need to get food.
[1018.8s] And in order to get food, you gotta pay for it.
[1023.3s] In order to pay for it, you gotta get money.
[1044.4s] We cut ahead several, several hours and you're winding down the, the, the river moves very slowly.
[1054.3s] And, uh, it's just where it's like flashing in and out of different parts of Dense's life.
[1061.8s] As we get here, um, until dense, you notice up ahead, uh, there's a ridge that is kind of
[1068.9s] rolls up and into further back into the land of Avernus.
[1073.5s] And you hear, uh, over the, the low splashing waves and the, uh, screams of the damned.
[1084.1s] That one's falling.
[1085.6s] And, and, and in order to get, uh, food, uh, you've gotta get more money
[1091.9s] to work with things and, oh, wait a minute.
[1095.2s] There's a sound of an infernal war machine,
[1098.1s] like just beyond where you can see grinding up and towards your location.
[1104.0s] That how, oh, wait a minute.
[1108.7s] Is there a problem?
[1111.1s] You stopped your extra long story about the gig economy.
[1114.4s] Did you, did you hear, did you hear that?
[1118.9s] You all look and turn to a ridge, uh, further down the river and there is, um,
[1125.9s] a two wheeled war machine with like this red haired figure.
[1129.9s] It's Smiler who's come back up and a bigger war machine coming in behind.
[1134.9s] Dense, you notice immediately that it's got the brand of Mad Maggie on this larger war machine.
[1140.9s] And Smiler, he's, he's, you can't hear what he's saying.
[1144.0s] He's too far down, but he's pointing at you.
[1147.9s] And they're positioning this larger war machine.
[1150.0s] It has like these giant spear guns on the back.
[1154.7s] And it looks like they're prepping them to fire them at you.
[1158.7s] Oh, this bitch.
[1160.0s] I can't believe this guy.
[1161.4s] At first we see him pee like a hundred times.
[1164.2s] And then he ditches us as soon as shit starts to get kind of real.
[1167.9s] And then now he's what?
[1170.5s] Ambushing us?
[1172.1s] This is he wants soul coins back.
[1174.5s] What does he want?
[1175.3s] I want to fuck him up.
[1177.4s] This is, hey, this is one of those guys that we can.
[1180.3s] Yeah.
[1181.7s] Right.
[1182.2s] He's a bad guy.
[1183.8s] He seems kind of bad.
[1185.1s] He was like, I mean, we used him a little bit there at the beginning to get what we needed,
[1188.4s] but it was mutually beneficial.
[1190.1s] And now he's being an asshole and turning his back.
[1192.7s] I don't think so.
[1194.7s] Wait, uh, you guys have problems with Mad Maggie?
[1199.3s] Oh, no.
[1200.1s] We've got problems with Smiler.
[1201.3s] We don't even know Mad Maggie.
[1203.2s] That red hair.
[1203.8s] This is the first I've heard of Mad Maggie.
[1206.4s] We know him.
[1208.1s] Who's?
[1208.7s] Those are, those are Mad Maggie's vehicles over there.
[1212.2s] And is she somebody who's like a welcome wagon or somebody very friendly who's probably...
[1221.2s] Are y'all on good terms?
[1222.8s] Well, yeah, I'm on, I'm on good terms with Mad Maggie.
[1226.2s] I don't want to be on bad terms with her.
[1229.2s] We were not on bad terms with Mad Maggie.
[1232.2s] Well, it looks like...
[1233.0s] Or Smiler, for that matter.
[1235.4s] Oh, is that the, who's that is?
[1237.1s] That's Smiler?
[1239.5s] Yeah.
[1240.5s] He turns and begins peeing into the wind.
[1244.0s] Just laughing.
[1246.3s] He's not even holding it, is he?
[1247.8s] No, he's just waving it.
[1249.1s] He's just waving it.
[1249.5s] God damn it.
[1251.2s] You see...
[1252.7s] Fucking Chaos Demon, Jesus!
[1254.4s] You see what looks like two people and they are, they are conjoined at the hip.
[1260.5s] They are hopping up on top of this larger war machine
[1263.6s] and you hear like this large crank that they're pulling.
[1267.6s] That does not sound good.
[1268.8s] No, it doesn't.
[1270.0s] No, I think they want me to go over there.
[1274.9s] Maybe we can row faster and...
[1279.1s] Yeah, do you have more oars?
[1280.4s] We could all maybe just like really kind of get it going and just...
[1284.3s] I'm very strong.
[1285.5s] I can do this so fast.
[1287.5s] They're very strong.
[1288.7s] If you look to your sides, you get an oar and you get an oar and you get an oar.
[1293.5s] Everyone gets an oar.
[1296.4s] Are you going to give up easily or are we going to have to pull you in?
[1302.6s] Russ, quick question.
[1303.6s] Is Smiler within 60 feet of me?
[1306.1s] How long do rivers go?
[1310.3s] Mean widthwise?
[1311.8s] Title of episode?
[1312.9s] How long do rivers go?
[1314.3s] How long does river go?
[1316.9s] Well, say you're approaching that distance.
[1320.5s] How far is the range on the harpoon?
[1323.8s] The harpoon is 120 feet.
[1325.3s] So they would position themselves pretty far down the river.
[1327.5s] So we'll say you're probably at like 80 to 100 feet from them.
[1331.4s] But closing.
[1334.0s] Once we get within 60 feet, once Smiler is within 60 feet of us,
[1338.5s] I'm going to cast darkness on his machine.
[1342.3s] Cicero, how fast do we think your boat moves per round?
[1346.2s] Just guesstimating.
[1347.4s] Guessing, I would say per round, I would probably say 40 feet.
[1354.8s] Okay, that sounds like a slow moving river.
[1358.1s] If we're all paddling, 40 feet sounds pretty good.
[1361.1s] Yeah, that would probably pick up the pace to make it that 40 feet.
[1364.1s] Absolutely.
[1365.5s] Love it.
[1366.1s] Okay, they're going to fire their harpoon flinger at you.
[1370.7s] Harpoon flinger.
[1371.9s] Harpoon flinger.
[1374.7s] Aiming for the boat, which is an 18 to hit.
[1379.5s] What's our boat's boat?
[1381.8s] Boat AC, I think sits around between a 10 to a 12,
[1385.5s] being that it's just a sailboat.
[1387.5s] But it's covered in tarps.
[1390.0s] You did mention the tarps.
[1391.1s] I will make it the 12.
[1394.1s] 12 for tarps.
[1395.1s] Yeah, you will.
[1396.6s] Plus two for tarps.
[1398.9s] So you hear this like, and this harpoon soars through the air towards you.
[1404.4s] I'll give anybody a reaction who could do something to deflect it.
[1408.5s] I'll throw my dwarven hammer at it.
[1410.7s] Yeah, I'll step forward with his shield.
[1416.4s] We got shield in case the dwarven hammer misses.
[1419.0s] So give me an attack roll with your dwarven hammer.
[1421.4s] Do it.
[1421.8s] Please.
[1422.8s] All right, coming up.
[1423.5s] It's going to be such a cool moment.
[1425.1s] That is, with a plus 14.
[1427.6s] Jesus fucking Christ.
[1429.1s] 32.
[1431.2s] You know what?
[1431.8s] It was a 33.
[1433.0s] Fuck you.
[1435.9s] You said 18.
[1438.5s] God damn it.
[1439.1s] Yes.
[1440.2s] Yes, it does hit.
[1442.8s] Varnock steps forward with a shield to take a massive, massive harpoon.
[1448.7s] But Flint, you step forward and whip your dwarven thrower.
[1452.3s] And it zips through the air, ringing out and careens into this harpoon,
[1458.3s] deflecting it off and into the water below.
[1461.0s] And you see hands coming up and like grabbing at it and pulling it down.
[1465.0s] And then you hear like, oh,
[1466.4s] oh, because it was just a harpoon.
[1472.5s] And all the souls are sad.
[1474.0s] So disappointed.
[1475.6s] As I catch the dwarven thrower, I flip the bird over at the guy on the shore.
[1481.8s] Oh, that's how it is.
[1483.1s] Hey, Badruck Bill, let's load this baby up.
[1486.2s] They're going to take a minute.
[1488.0s] Thea yells up, excuse me, why are you doing this?
[1491.3s] Because there's a warrant out for your head.
[1493.8s] And in Mad Maggie, you took out a couple of her vehicles there and a bunch of her people.
[1499.8s] Yeah, you did.
[1501.0s] Yeah, you mean the ones you told us to target?
[1502.7s] The ones that you got us to target?
[1504.5s] Oh, Badruck Bill, don't worry what they're saying.
[1507.0s] They were the ones in control.
[1508.7s] They were the ones in charge.
[1510.3s] Yeah, we're new here.
[1511.3s] We're definitely in charge.
[1513.0s] You're going to listen to this guy.
[1514.1s] He pees without holding his willy.
[1515.8s] Well, we pee without holding our willies, too.
[1518.7s] We're Siamese, so sometimes we hold each other's willies just to be supportive.
[1522.2s] It's how it goes.
[1524.3s] Well, I mean, you do you, but like, can we maybe talk about this?
[1527.9s] No.
[1529.9s] Well, ask an answer, I guess.
[1532.7s] Ask an answer, I mean.
[1535.3s] Flint will say you went popcorn initiative.
[1538.1s] Let's make it cinematic.
[1542.0s] All right, as I catch the dwarven thrower and flip him the bird,
[1546.4s] I point over at Lip Sinky, double finger style.
[1550.1s] I'm like, what you got?
[1551.5s] Oh, I got something, all right.
[1553.5s] Could I, so how far away are they now?
[1555.5s] 120, we'll get them as we keep going.
[1557.6s] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[1559.0s] Could I cast?
[1560.3s] I haven't gone a full round, so we're still that eight.
[1562.7s] Okay, perfect.
[1563.4s] I'm going to try and cast Crown of Madness on them
[1567.4s] so they need to succeed or one of them.
[1570.0s] I'm not sure, you determine that.
[1571.7s] Has to succeed on a wisdom saving throw or they become charmed by me.
[1576.6s] It's what it says.
[1577.5s] Russ determines that.
[1578.5s] It's written in the guide.
[1581.1s] Yeah.
[1581.5s] They are two, you know, two.
[1583.4s] Well, if they have two brains and she can only target one,
[1587.7s] they're two people, this is it.
[1589.1s] Oh, you're going for Badric and Bill.
[1590.7s] Yes, yes.
[1592.0s] Yep, got it.
[1593.3s] Smiler's just peeing in an uncomfortable way.
[1595.7s] I mean, I don't like him, but he's not actively firing at us.
[1599.3s] Yeah, he's not actively.
[1601.6s] Yeah, they both have two separate entities,
[1604.8s] so you would have to target one.
[1606.7s] Okay, I'll pick one, the one on my left.
[1611.3s] That's going to be Badric.
[1614.0s] Great.
[1614.3s] Badric needs to make a wisdom saving throw.
[1617.6s] 19 on the die.
[1618.9s] He's not very smart.
[1619.9s] I'm going to give him a zero.
[1621.2s] It's a 19.
[1622.3s] Well, so nothing happens, I think.
[1625.9s] Oh, that's unfortunate.
[1627.0s] Let me double check.
[1628.7s] Hate that.
[1629.4s] No, it's no fun.
[1630.7s] All this cool stuff was going to happen.
[1632.4s] He was going to have to throw himself off a cliff.
[1636.4s] That would have been fun for Russ to play out
[1639.0s] with one half of him being like,
[1640.8s] no, we have to go over this cliff.
[1645.3s] What did he have to beat?
[1646.4s] A 17.
[1648.3s] It gets high, but a 19.
[1651.2s] Okay, so Libsynkey just, I think then,
[1654.9s] because I read my character sheet a little bit.
[1657.1s] Great tip, guys.
[1657.8s] Read your character sheets.
[1659.0s] I guess I can sort of meld into darkness and become invisible,
[1662.3s] so I'm going to just do that.
[1663.6s] Okay.
[1664.3s] It's not going to matter if they sink our boat,
[1665.9s] but it makes me feel better.
[1668.3s] Thea, can you like blast him with something or?
[1672.2s] I would love to.
[1673.7s] And she leans over to Flint and she's like,
[1676.4s] hey, remember Silvery Cove when we were like,
[1682.9s] remember, okay, remember all those dark elves?
[1685.1s] I mean, it's not really ringing a bell, but.
[1687.7s] Okay, never mind.
[1690.3s] And she is going to.
[1697.3s] I'm going to cast fourth level scat.
[1712.3s] Okay, I'm going to call lightning down upon the whole shebang.
[1718.5s] It is in a 60 foot radius around them on top of that fucking ridge.
[1726.7s] Yeah, that's a 14 and a four 14 for the first miler.
[1732.1s] Okay, well, neither of those work.
[1735.2s] So give me some damage.
[1737.5s] Yeah, I'm going to do it.
[1739.5s] So I'm only casting it at third level.
[1743.7s] Yeah, fuck them up, Thea.
[1745.5s] Yeah, yeah, I've been able to fuck anybody up in such a long time.
[1749.5s] I don't even know what dice I'm using.
[1751.1s] I don't want yours.
[1751.9s] Don't get out of here.
[1754.3s] Sorry, that came off like really.
[1756.3s] That was aggressive.
[1757.1s] I'm so sorry.
[1757.9s] I mean, when you're in hell calling lightning, it's good to be aggressive.
[1760.6s] Yeah, I just got all excited.
[1763.1s] Okay, 40, 10, here we go.
[1764.5s] Oh shit, that one didn't go anywhere.
[1766.3s] Okay, 16, 21, 22 lightning damage.
[1774.3s] This dusty, murky cloud forms above and it's you can see the static
[1780.7s] shooting between the cloud formations as they're coming in and they shoot down
[1789.6s] and through these two and they light up like cartoons and you see their skeleton
[1795.5s] and then when it clears, there's smoke coming out of their ears
[1799.5s] and they look to each other and that really hurt.
[1805.5s] You want to talk about it?
[1806.7s] No, we want to sink you.
[1809.2s] Can we paddle harder?
[1811.5s] I imagine since we each, in my mind, we each have one paddle.
[1815.5s] So like, I wouldn't say maybe we're not quite in sync yet.
[1819.8s] So it's a little.
[1821.1s] But one person takes a turn, you drift to the left.
[1823.3s] Well, and Night Hunter is so strong.
[1825.6s] Like I'm a no, she's a goliath.
[1828.4s] So if we're on it, we'll figure it out.
[1832.7s] Yeah, we got this.
[1834.7s] Do you want to do anything else?
[1836.3s] No, I will, however, ready my second action that if someone were to like hop on,
[1847.9s] like board the ship, that I would stab them with my daggers.
[1856.7s] Vorunax, this is your house.
[1857.9s] Why don't you clean up a little bit?
[1859.7s] I will.
[1862.3s] I'm going to look at Smiler and I'm going to bust out the good old classic Eldritch Blast.
[1866.8s] Yeah, classic for a reason.
[1868.7s] He's busy like trying to fix his hair as you're casting your spell.
[1874.0s] 17?
[1876.1s] I believe so, yes.
[1878.5s] Rolling damages.
[1881.3s] 29.
[1883.4s] Blasts go out and as he's like fixing his hair and readjusting his crown on his head,
[1888.8s] he gets hit by these and blown back to the dirt.
[1891.7s] And then like this poof of what you know is not dirt.
[1896.8s] It's bone dust and gross.
[1900.4s] It's like splatters up behind him.
[1902.5s] Can you just hear?
[1907.7s] There's another as one of these harpoons looses again.
[1914.3s] That's a 19 to hit.
[1915.9s] I'll definitely step forward and take it.
[1918.5s] You're going to jump in front of the harpoon.
[1920.9s] Yeah, I got an AC of 22.
[1922.7s] All right, all right.
[1925.1s] Yeah, you jump in front of it with your shield and this long harpoon glints off of it.
[1938.1s] Magical.
[1938.8s] More disappointed moans.
[1941.4s] I hear those disappointed moans and then, Dents, you're first to kind of sense like
[1949.3s] just rock in the boat as you feel or as you see rather ghostly hands climbing up the side
[1959.4s] of the boat, beginning to try and pull and grab at anything they can from the edges.
[1964.4s] What dense does is you you look at dense and you see him as he's still paddling furiously.
[1976.5s] You can see there's something going on within him and he closes his eyes and when his eyes reopen
[1984.7s] instead of the brown eyes, the brownish green eyes that you had seen before,
[1989.4s] his eyes just become a sea of blue.
[1992.4s] He casts wall of water up in front of all of the all of the the the Spears and and Smiler
[2006.5s] to protect.
[2007.9s] So part of the river rises up 30 feet in the air as we're still paddling going forward.
[2016.8s] Um, so he senses that those those hands are coming up and trying to grab onto the boat,
[2024.6s] but he is equally concerned with the people that are in front of him and he is now concentrating
[2032.2s] using this wall of water to protect to create a literal wall of water kind of 10 Commandment
[2041.1s] style as as the boat is going forward.
[2046.5s] Very cool.
[2047.1s] All right.
[2047.5s] So you got a disadvantage on the on the range.
[2052.3s] We picture a bend in the river and Smiler and Badrick and Bill, the Siamese twins,
[2059.5s] Barbarian and Cleric.
[2060.9s] Thank you, Cal Waterflame for the description of these characters.
[2065.5s] They're up on a hill and this bends around.
[2068.7s] So I'm going to picture like your wall of water isn't obscuring your way around,
[2073.9s] but but is blocking at least some line of sight from from the war machine.
[2082.0s] Is it possible that some of the creatures whose hands were reaching toward the boat
[2086.4s] have been lifted up into this wall of water and now they're like,
[2089.6s] Oh, is it just filled with bodies?
[2091.4s] Yeah, I like that.
[2092.1s] So yeah, it's definitely filled with souls and bodies drifting down the river.
[2097.4s] So yeah, as it pulls up like the hands pull away from the boat
[2102.3s] as a kind of a vacuum effect, pulling some of this away and up into the wall.
[2106.8s] So in the wall, you see all these ghostly and gaunt images of skeletal and
[2112.4s] and ghost like figures like trying to swim through it and up through it and
[2117.7s] trying to get back out towards you that they now see and are staring down towards you.
[2122.9s] This is mildly terrifying.
[2125.1s] That's a good break for commercial.
[2132.1s] Welcome to the middle.
[2133.0s] It's me your Dungeon Master Russ More.
[2134.9s] Thank you for being here with us.
[2136.4s] Welcome to the new year.
[2137.8s] It's our first episode and we're so excited to be releasing new episodes again.
[2142.9s] It feels like it's been a bit little rusty getting back into it, but it's here now.
[2148.3s] And we got Cicero and we got Kyle and a little
[2153.5s] I guess rundown of how this next little bit is going to work.
[2158.0s] The last time we saw Mooklim and Sully and Agath, they hit a point.
[2162.3s] I'm not going to spoil anything.
[2163.9s] If you haven't listened to that episode yet,
[2165.5s] maybe you're just listening to this timeline, but they hit a point where
[2169.7s] it makes sense to put a little pause on that story.
[2173.6s] So we've got a little catching up to do with this story.
[2176.1s] We will be streamlining just to this story for the next several episodes
[2181.8s] until there comes a point at which we remerge again.
[2187.4s] That's what's going to happen.
[2188.8s] Also wanted to let you know that we're refreshing our Patreon tiers
[2192.5s] and opening up different ways to support the show.
[2195.9s] That's happening.
[2197.4s] That review and refresh is happening throughout January, launching again in February.
[2203.0s] Patrons know, but you now know there's no game time in January,
[2207.8s] which is the tier in Patreon where we get to play a game with four of our patrons.
[2213.9s] That's not happening in January because we're doing this as refresh and re-image.
[2218.8s] And then everything's going to launch back in February.
[2221.3s] And we're very excited for some of the things that are coming.
[2224.2s] One of the main things is we're going to move away from the goals aspect of Patreon.
[2230.8s] We feel like it's just dangling things that we really just want to do.
[2235.5s] So I guess a little sneak peek.
[2237.3s] Game time's coming back.
[2238.9s] We're going to be doing some regular streamed live shows,
[2242.1s] which are going to be included for patrons.
[2244.3s] But also we're going to be selling tickets for those, still figuring out the details.
[2249.5s] We'll be doing that and that will be quarterly.
[2251.7s] I think the first live show that we have planned in our brains,
[2255.9s] but not released yet is going to be end of March.
[2259.1s] So keep an eye out for details there.
[2261.1s] If you want all the details, here's the call to action for today,
[2265.0s] because really this is just a whole lot of what's coming up.
[2267.9s] Go sign up for our newsletter, dumbdragons.com.
[2270.6s] If it's the first time to our website,
[2272.3s] there should be a little pop-up that says, hey, sign up for our newsletter.
[2275.1s] And if not, go to our contact page.
[2277.1s] There is a form to fill out where you can sign up for our newsletter.
[2280.3s] And then you get info on all the things as it happens.
[2284.3s] We try and stick to monthly.
[2285.8s] When super fun things come up, we release an extra one,
[2288.7s] like the Christmas Carol episode that we did.
[2290.4s] We released an extra one telling you where you can go to get it
[2293.0s] and all the cool merch that you can get.
[2295.3s] Anyways, that's all from me.
[2297.4s] A whole lot of things to say that there's more coming.
[2299.7s] Welcome back. Thank you so much for being here.
[2301.9s] We hope you had a wonderful holiday season and a happy new year.
[2305.0s] And like, I want to say so much about what we have recorded
[2308.8s] because we have so much recorded, but I can't.
[2311.9s] I just can't.
[2313.4s] Okay? Stop asking.
[2316.5s] Let's get you back to the episode before I spill something.
[2319.6s] Okay. Have a great day.
[2321.9s] I'll talk to you soon.
[2324.1s] Okay, bye.
[2326.3s] We'll say you've gone ahead another 40 feet.
[2328.3s] You hear like the grinding of this of this war machine.
[2333.4s] Smiler is who's been just an asshole.
[2337.2s] Who has been an asshole more than anything.
[2341.2s] Is going to cast Otto's Irresistible Dance
[2345.0s] because that's more fun.
[2347.3s] Otto's Irresistible Dance on Vorunax.
[2351.1s] He's going to try on Vorunax.
[2352.3s] Wisdom save.
[2353.3s] Wisdom save. You've got it.
[2355.7s] That is a 29.
[2359.0s] Yeah. So you see up on the hill, he's beginning to dance
[2363.7s] and like there's these colors coming out of his hands
[2365.9s] and greens and grays and blues.
[2368.7s] And this force like waves out up.
[2372.4s] It follows up and over the wall
[2374.5s] and hits you square in the chest, Vorunax.
[2377.1s] And you feel in your head like this music playing
[2381.5s] but manage to through whatever means you fight it off.
[2387.2s] Manage to fight it off.
[2388.4s] I would assume it's even more fiery dance moves in comparison.
[2392.7s] You like break dance repellent.
[2396.1s] He got served.
[2398.3s] Drive in and just hit him with a wave.
[2401.6s] Okay. You steer there Bill.
[2406.6s] Badrick and Bill go hop in
[2408.1s] and you hear the scream of the soul coin
[2410.7s] as they put it into this war machine
[2412.5s] and it fires up and begins careening down towards the water.
[2415.9s] Here, let's go to Nighthunter.
[2417.2s] You look over and Grancis is like,
[2418.7s] I forgot to study for the test everybody.
[2420.7s] I'm just reading my book.
[2422.3s] That is okay old man.
[2423.5s] I'll be ready by the time we get to Orcus.
[2427.1s] Out of one of her, don't know the name of it,
[2431.6s] thing on her back that is like a quiver
[2434.2s] but carries her javelins.
[2435.9s] Her jiver.
[2437.1s] Yes.
[2437.8s] That's the one.
[2439.5s] From that, yes and, from her jiver,
[2442.8s] she takes a javelin out and aims at who can she see?
[2448.8s] Are these people still on top?
[2450.5s] Is Smiler on top?
[2452.8s] Smiler's up on top.
[2454.4s] His war machine, his two-wheeled war machine is up on top.
[2457.3s] The bigger war machine is careening down this hill
[2461.1s] so you kind of lose line of sight of it
[2463.5s] behind the wall of water
[2464.9s] but you could still see Smiler from there.
[2466.8s] I'm going for Smiler
[2468.1s] and I'm going to throw my javelin at him.
[2472.6s] That was a wild ride for 23, 24.
[2476.7s] Both of them.
[2477.6s] Okay for nine and then she's gonna take out
[2482.3s] like a second javelin.
[2484.5s] She came prepared for a 29.
[2488.9s] Yep.
[2489.7s] And 12 damage.
[2493.0s] Both of these javelins fly through the air
[2494.9s] as he's cheering on the war machine
[2496.7s] as it's going down towards.
[2498.2s] And like they sink in.
[2499.3s] Where are you gonna hit him?
[2500.5s] I want like shoulder shoulder
[2503.1s] or like pectoral pectoral.
[2504.7s] Okay, yeah.
[2505.6s] Yeah.
[2506.9s] They hit like the first one into the shoulder
[2509.5s] and sticks back down
[2510.7s] and then the second one as he looks up and sees it
[2513.2s] hits him in the second one
[2514.4s] and he falls backwards but he's propped up.
[2517.2s] So he's leaning back and stuck.
[2520.1s] He's in a stuck position
[2521.3s] with these javelins skewered through him
[2523.8s] lets out a scream and with that scream
[2526.8s] like this this lush green rain forest
[2530.1s] kind of churns around him
[2532.3s] and is now enveloping the area he was in.
[2534.9s] I think I broke him.
[2536.3s] The war machine comes down and crashes into the water
[2540.6s] and you see Badrick and Bill just in the nick of time
[2543.9s] jump off but then fall into the water
[2546.0s] behind the war machine
[2548.3s] and you see them
[2552.4s] through the wall of water being grabbed at
[2554.8s] and they're like, oh, oh, no, no, smile, smile.
[2557.9s] Oh, he left us.
[2559.3s] Oh, Meg is gonna be so upset.
[2561.6s] But with that a big wave comes towards you.
[2566.1s] Dance, make a piloting check.
[2571.4s] Probably a dexterity or intelligence.
[2577.2s] Whichever you prefer, knowledge of boats
[2580.7s] or ability to react to what's coming.
[2584.5s] All right, I got it.
[2586.2s] Or something else if you can justify.
[2587.8s] Dirty 20.
[2589.5s] Love it.
[2590.4s] So describe the scene that you narrow.
[2593.7s] You avoid capsizing.
[2597.1s] Great.
[2597.9s] Right.
[2598.3s] But yeah, describe the scene as you avoid
[2601.0s] this wave that's breaking through your wall of water
[2604.8s] and coming towards your boat.
[2607.9s] So there was this movie that was based on a true story
[2614.3s] off the shore of Massachusetts
[2616.6s] and I think Marky Mark was in it or something like that
[2620.4s] and so there's this just this wave
[2624.3s] this giant wave of water
[2626.1s] and so the boat is coming up
[2628.7s] and you see the hands are coming
[2631.7s] and somehow the boat still is still gaining momentum
[2638.3s] as it's going up this giant wall of water
[2643.7s] and then like as we get to the top
[2648.8s] like the top of the boat is out of the water
[2655.7s] and from the sides you can see Smiler on the ridge
[2662.3s] and look down and see the wall of water
[2665.1s] as the boat finally comes down on top of the wave.
[2672.7s] There's a huge splash as the boat hits down
[2677.5s] and almost it propelled by a motor
[2680.5s] like all of you like hit your stride at the exact right moment
[2683.7s] and all of your oars begin paddling into this turn
[2688.3s] that you have created here
[2690.7s] begin motoring down this very still water that lays before you.
[2695.1s] You hear murmured cries of pain and despair
[2699.9s] as Bill and Badrick are sucked into the river sticks
[2703.5s] and Smiler is trying to get himself off of the skewers
[2707.9s] and you see ahead of you
[2709.8s] Dents would know it as a portal to the Plane of Infinite Portals
[2717.9s] or Pezunia which is your way out of Avernus
[2723.2s] and the only way to get towards
[2726.2s] where your new fare needs to go down into the abyss.
[2734.7s] Pezunia!
[2736.5s] And we keep paddling and so Dents is on the till, right?
[2746.4s] On the tiller.
[2749.0s] Shout out to John McCain.
[2757.4s] So yeah so we're he is he is paddling with one hand
[2763.1s] concentrating he's grabbing the tiller with the other hand
[2767.9s] and concentrating on the water and the wall of water
[2773.6s] with with the the rest of his brain
[2777.3s] as well as his eyes is looking towards this portal
[2781.1s] and he goes Pezunia and and and points Pezunia
[2787.0s] and starts directing the boat directly towards the portals.
[2793.6s] It's is that is that is this part of this the portal?
[2797.9s] Well sure well I mean my job is to get you from point A
[2807.9s] through Avernus.
[2809.8s] This is the way this is the way.
[2813.8s] This is the way this is the way I I believe you hear rumbling
[2819.5s] sounds of more infernal war machines coming from behind you
[2822.7s] and Dents you look behind you and you see
[2825.9s] uh like almost the entire fleet of Mad Maggie's
[2830.2s] infernal war machines and you see Mad Maggie sitting on top of one of them
[2834.6s] and she's looking down at Smiler and like off in the distance towards you
[2838.9s] as you disappear through this portal and you hear just a
[2841.9s] shrill scream of hatred echoing out as you are sucked into this new area.
[2855.6s] Um I think she was happy.
[2859.2s] I I think so too.
[2861.1s] I think she was happy.
[2862.8s] Sounded like the shriek of a happy person.
[2864.9s] Yes yes.
[2867.5s] Before you you see the land or the first layer
[2872.0s] abyssal layer of Pezunia.
[2874.3s] Pezuntite.
[2875.1s] It is a too slow too slow.
[2881.9s] That's what we call a callback.
[2883.1s] Yeah that's right.
[2885.3s] Yeah yeah.
[2891.8s] Everybody's on the same page though.
[2893.4s] Good yeah.
[2894.3s] You see the vast land of Pezunia stretch out before you
[2897.9s] as you're moving down this now slow grade waterfall.
[2904.1s] The land is covered with rocky windswept barrens dotted with huge pits of like black
[2910.8s] ichor canyons that are carved wide through this land.
[2916.5s] It's lit by this huge dark red sun
[2920.8s] and there's an iron fortresses that dot the entire landscape.
[2925.3s] There are these winged creatures you hear calling up above
[2930.9s] screams and they begin circling the boat as you enter
[2935.6s] and are following you as you move down across this.
[2939.0s] The river ahead of you splits off into several different tributaries
[2943.9s] all of which you see have different portals at the end of them.
[2948.3s] You well clearly you guys
[2954.9s] know how to make opposite friends
[2961.0s] and I can see why because you guys want to still go to Thanatos.
[2965.4s] Are you sure you want to do that?
[2967.7s] I mean I'm I'm still I'm still game for this.
[2971.6s] Yeah I mean it's where we have we have to be to save the world or whatever.
[2977.5s] Oh yeah that's why we're doing this I kind of forgot.
[2981.1s] It looks like the night hunter fell asleep so I'll speak for them.
[2985.1s] They're on board.
[2987.3s] They're they're in it to win it.
[2989.9s] A game 110 percent ready to just kick Orcus butt.
[2997.2s] Don't dance yeah yeah that's that's where we're needing to go.
[3001.5s] While we're heading that way can I cast major image so that we just look like we're just
[3008.0s] just uh are we still on the river is still going through or
[3012.3s] yeah that we just look like river.
[3014.8s] Oh okay okay.
[3016.3s] So do they the creatures can't see us I mean if they try and touch us they
[3021.6s] will learn that we are not just river we are boat.
[3025.3s] Um but otherwise um yeah like I can't damage anything or anything but I can cast a
[3031.9s] pretty powerful illusion including sound smells temperature appropriate to the thing you depict.
[3037.9s] All right you cast that boat basically disappears for these creatures above and you see them um
[3046.3s] you do this as they begin like swooping down um and they land on like the river
[3052.5s] bank and they're watching where you were and are surrounding um and the you you're moving down
[3061.8s] at a at a slower pace still moving as quickly as you can but you can only move so fast
[3067.0s] and they begin like crashing into the water themselves trying to figure out where you are
[3073.0s] and they do this a five yeah miss on both sides of you trying to figure out a location
[3082.2s] just as you're rounding a final bend to get towards this open portal one of them
[3089.1s] you look up and you see it's coming right for you we have anybody one one moment reaction
[3095.4s] before it crashes into you.
[3097.4s] How how heavy are these birds?
[3099.8s] As they get nearer towards you and you like see them they're they're humanoid size
[3103.9s] so they're like five to seven feet tall big long wingspan so they're pretty pretty large.
[3110.3s] Oh okay.
[3111.5s] So put them at two to three hundred pounds.
[3115.8s] All right well then uh dense would like to cast cloud of daggers so uh I put a cloud
[3127.8s] of spinning daggers just just above the boat okay that that are spinning around and any
[3137.5s] creature when it enters the spell area has to take uh 4d force lashing damage.
[3143.9s] All right uh we're gonna we're gonna say that it definitely does hit it's because it's it's
[3148.7s] like bee lining for your location it doesn't necessarily know you're there but um it goes
[3153.9s] and it hits those daggers and you see like for what this creature this hideous bane popping
[3162.2s] grotesque like flesh sloughing off of its face creature um is it looks like an immediate
[3171.4s] sense of panic and lets out a call and continues down forwards and hits into the boat dispersing
[3178.8s] the daggers behind it which ripples out your effect and they all begin swarming
[3184.0s] and bombing your location as you're getting close to.
[3186.9s] Dumbgeons and Dragons season two episode 141 starring Amy More as Thea and Night Hunter,
[3191.1s] Carla Maxted as Lipsinki, Tom Laird as Flint, with Kyle Claset as Vorunax, Cicero Holmes as
[3197.1s] Dents, and Russ More as your dungeon master. Dialogue editing by Carla Maxted and sound
[3202.3s] design by Russ More. This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound and Artlist and
[3207.6s] sound effects from Epidemic Sound, Boom Library, and Thea and Nighthunter.
[3211.5s] This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound and Artlist and sound effects from Epidemic Sound,
[3216.1s] Boom Library, and Sound Ideas. And a huge thank you to our supporting producers,
[3220.2s] Jessica Babyok, Kat Waterflame, Jacob Madden, Christian Brown, Craig Zeiss, Perry Matey,
[3226.0s] Kayla Littlejohn, L.A. Branton, Nathaniel Teeter, Old School Gamer D,
[3230.7s] Ongarong Kierzan, and Destiny Garcia. Join us today at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast
[3237.4s] and receive hundreds, literal hundreds of hours of bonus content,
[3242.3s] hangouts with the cast, and a whole lot more. You have a great week, we'll talk to you soon.
[3267.3s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a dumb dragons production.